Core Competence
Miss Marple And Me

Just Asking

I was in the shower trying to decide whether or not to shave my legs when it occurred to me that the larger question is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

The first thing that came to mind is: I want to be a computer programmer.

The next thing that came to mind is: WHAT? What are you talking about?

Followed quickly by: Do you even know what a computer programmer does?

Then: No. No you do not.

Finally: Programmer! Ha! Good luck with that.

Since I am temporarily no longer speaking to myself, I decided to ask you. But first I googled career aptitude tests comma free comma not scammy, which brought me to four different sites with four mostly similar questionnaires.

The first one promptly pegged me as a funeral services director.

I... I am trying to think of something for which I could possibly be less suited and I am coming up blank. Literally. Take everything at which I am absolutely terrible (dealing with strangers, emotional confrontation, Things That Are Really Sad, corpses, flower arranging) wrap them up and blammo! You have the world's worst funeral director.  

Moving on.

The second site said I should be a marketing manager and to be fair I probably am suited to be a marketing manager. I was a marketing manager. Part of me still secretly markets things, like: Frittata? You egg-hating children want to know what this frittata is, exactly? It's ham-and-cheese PIE that's what. But do I want to be a marketing manager again for real? No. Marketing never ends if you know what I mean. There is never a moment at which any company, anywhere, ever, says, ok, great, job well done marketers! Go home, take a rest! We have the perfect number of people demanding our product.

Personally, I need more closure. 

Site number three came up with: buyer. Also not a bad guess since before I was a marketing manager I was a retail buyer. But again, no.

The fourth site - the superior site - thought that I should be a computer programmer. Well, eventually. At first it thought I should be a shift supervisor in a non-retail setting and then it tentatively explored plant management but after that? Computer programmer and or slash video game designer. Boom.

PS Offhand do you know of a more reliable way to assess interests than online testing sites that are also willing to evaluate which Lord of the Rings character you would be (Aragorn)? Also, since I am actually kinda serious about the computer programming thing - no matter what my mind my say - do you, uh, know how... I mean... how exactly does one go about learning a little programming. I don't want to be very good at it, if that helps. Are there... I don't know. Community Ed? Library books? Where does one start? Do I have to pick a language? Are some languages better than others?