Patrick Told Someone That My Midlife Crisis Is Soccer

I Mean, If I Absolutely HAD To

My writing paralysis has extended to the point that I had to use a random number generator to figure out what question to answer: 37. Which by my possibly inexact stubby finger to the screen method brings us to:

Toni said...

Which member of the Arsenal team you would sleep with. Giroud? Sanchez? Ospina?

Ha! Yes.


Oh. Sorry. I am supposed to choose one?

Let's see. The obvious answer is, of course, Giroud (I'll wait while you google him) because after I had had my wicked way with him (twice) I could use his cheekbones to cut wafer-thin slices of Westphalian ham and then use his abdomen as a charcuterie board.

[Gentlemen - please accept my deepest apologies for this shameless objectification of your sex. Of course I know that males are more than pretty, useful stereotypes. Why, just the other day Steve stripped to the waist and replaced the garbage disposal while I watched from the other side of the room and admired his rippling intellect.]

Good heavens I just had to fan myself. Where was I? Ah yes, romping my way through The Emirates.

So, Giroud. So handsome, so... healthy. But! Upon further consideration I think I am actually going to go with Theo Walcott. I like his smile. Also wikipedia notes, and I quote, he "possesses good balance, movement and technique."

Which... really. Key points to consider.

I'm embarrassed to admit how much your questions are entertaining me. Inspiring me, too, apparently. So thank you and kisses kisses et cetera. I'll randomly pick out another one later but in the meantime (as a sop to Kylie who likes day in the life posts - me too) I need to finish cleaning my bathroom and then Patrick (who has no school today) and I are going to make Latvian bacon buns.

PS As long as we are being chatty, your turn. Athlete to whom you would most likely grant your favors, go. Also feel free to add more questions. So helpful.