Edward said, "Oh good, we're watching TV!"
I corrected, "No. I am watching football."
"No fair! You control everything and you're going to watch, like, four games in a row."
"Of course not. Four games? Today? That's ridiculous. I'm going to watch three."
And I did. And it was excellent. And Chelsea doesn't even play until tomorrow.
PS Ever since our return from parts yonder, I have been struggling to find ways to be by myself, awake and not in the bathtub (I'm not a damned mermaid, after all) but now I need struggle no longer. I discovered today that the Premier League is like kryptonite to my family. I mean, I knew from last season that no one would willingly watch with me but I did not fully appreciate the fact that five seconds of a Heineken commercial scatters them to the furthest recesses of the house. It's like magic.
PPS Since you ask - I assume you were about to ask - I think Man U is going to be formidable; Aston Villa looked surprisingly scrappy at midfield and I still cannot bring myself to like Harry Kane. Surely I am not the only person to notice his resemblance to Draco Malfoy? I expect in the UK it is all anyone ever talks about.
More importantly I realized this weekend that Everton on the whole is ridiculously attractive (Barry and Lukaku and Tim Howard without the beard and, I dunno, all the other lantern-jawed superhero types they have dashing about) and I really like the new green jerseys, complete with that cunning black band at the bottom. Very football fashion forward.
The combined effect - healthy good-looks, fetching ensembles, three very solid goals - was almost enough to make me switch teams
[I made this observation to Steve, who has given up all pretense of even tolerating Chelsea, and he urged, "Do it! It's not too late. You could probably get one of those Everton away jerseys delivered before next weekend. Go... NotChelsea!"]
but not quite.
I look forward to Edward's face tomorrow when he realizes that I am not about to watch My Little Pony but yet another football match. He's getting the opportunity to build so much character.