Christine kindly wished for me that Caroline would have the decency to be either properly sick or helpful:
"Good Lord!" I said when I glanced into the living room. "What have you done with Edward?"
Caroline looked up from the yogurt she was placidly consuming in the kitchen and said, "Oh. I put him into a katerine."
I had to think about this.
"He'll suffocate! Bear, get out from under those blankets so you can breathe."
"I'm ok! Caroline gave me a breathing straw. But," he continued, all muffled, "I can't see the TV."
Caroline leaned toward me and whispered, "I didn't want to watch that show again. He's played the same episode three times."
"So you covered him with a blanket like a parrot?"
"It's a tent and he likes it and it is for safety. Ammonia can be dangerous, remember?"
"NAH-monia," and I pulled the pink blanket off the couch only to discover that the lumps I had mistaken for Edward were actually an assortment of Caroline's stuffed animals. The real Edward was folded like a camp stool and wedged between the exercise ball and the corner of the couch.
I looked reproachfully at Caroline, handed Edward a water bottle and the remote control and told him I would help him spell Neil deGrasse Tyson if he wanted to search for something else to watch.
She will definitely be going back to school tomorrow.