Last week while Steve was out of town I took the kids out for dinner. Towards the end of the meal Patrick escorted Edward to the bathroom and while they were gone I ordered an ice cream for the twins and two spoons.
When the waiter brought it to the table Edward waited until he left and then voiced a formal protest.
"I have to share? I don't want to share. I wanted my own!"
"Edward. That ice cream is enormous and you are being rude. I don't want to hear it."
"But you didn't ask me. You never ask me what I want. And I don't always want to share."
"You know what," I said. "You should start carrying around a little notebook with a tiny pencil attached to it. Then when I do something that displeases you, rather than complain about it out loud you could just scribble it all down in your notebook. Like: March 24th. Dinner out. Spaghetti and meatballs acceptable but forced by mother to share dessert. Unbelievable! Her thoughtlessness begins to appear calculated."
Edward stared across the table at me, his brow furrowing as he pondered this.
Then he said, "But what will I do when I run out of pages?"
1. This is why sarcasm is a feeble weapon in the parental arsenal
2. I turned to Patrick and said, "My new goal in life is to remember this moment long enough to tell Nana. She'll enjoy it."
Then I told Edward he had five seconds to say thank you and enjoy half an ice cream or ten seconds to say thank you and watch the rest of us eat it. His choice.
PS Caroline seems to be getting a little better. Still has a fever but it is more 102 than 104. I think this is promising and I still think it is the flu. Oh! And the rash disappeared as the fever came down.