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Belly Jarl

Put Your Left Foot In And You Shake It All About

Sorry about that. Not only was that last post nearly incomprehensible; I left it hanging there - all twisty and baffling like a homemade windchime - for several days longer than I intended.

Granted in the interim I have only received limited clarification from the pediatrician (not our usual pediatrician, by the way; apparently once you start seeing one person for any given illness they don't let you swap back again - or so I've inferred from my tactful but ignored hints that maybe my real, beloved doctor would like to weigh in.) And Patrick is more or less the same - no crushing headaches, no projectile vomiting but still a little... out of it. And we were exceptionally busy for the past several days. But I am sorry I did not post sooner.

According to the pediatrician the radiologist reported that Patrick has inflammation and infected fluid in multiple sinuses: right maxillary, right ethmoid, left ethmoid and a big maybe whoknows on both the frontal sinuses which are either completely full of gunk or not there at all. Or still forming. Or something. He also has some white spots on his brain, which are signs of inflammation most likely related to the virus from a few weeks ago. My working theory - which has been entertained by no one except my mom - is that Patrick got some random kid illness that spread to the brain fluid, resulting in a viral encephalitis. He was then miserably ill for ten days, gradually got better, flared when his mother stupidly let him do flips and then gradually got better when the internet told his mother she needed to give him large does of medicinal TV and no flips. 

Flowchart:

- either the sinus infections are a secondary infection stemming from the viral whatsit OR
- Patrick has been suffering from chronic sinus infections for an extended period of time (like a year and a half) and the encephalitis developed from there.

(Sorry this must be incredibly boring)

Anyway, I talked to the pediatrician again and she explained what the radiologist had found and then she started discussing ways to manage Patrick's possible migraines, which confused me even further because I had thought that the sinuses would explain the headaches. She said maybe, maybe not.

Patrick's at about sixty percent of his usual capacity and I am very very VERY glad we are seeing the ENT on Friday. I would put money on my belief that Patrick has either an abscess or a cyst or a structural issue somewhere in the bones or the cavities of his head and I think she is the right person to sort that out.

Moving off the topic until then.

A little over a week ago (right at the zenith of the big health scare, actually) I heard Edward talking to Patrick in the bathroom.

He said, "What are you doing Patrick?" and I tensed because I was afraid Patrick was getting ready to throw up again. But no.

Patrick, using his kindergarten teacher dipped in maple sugar voice, said, "I'm going pee in the potty! Edward do YOU want to go pee in the potty TOO?"

Edward said, "OK!"

So Patrick said, "Here. Let me help you. First we pull down your pants... that's right! Great! Then you need to get rid of that silly diaper! Bye bye diaper! Good job! Then you hold your penis like this and step close to the toilet and... pee!"

Nothing happened. But from that moment on Edward refused to put on a diaper except at bedtime. The first day he just peed in his pants all day long and I thought - REALLY Edward? - but by day two he would hold it until someone (me, Caroline, Patrick) would think to help him into the bathroom. Two days later he went to preschool in underpants and had no accidents and he's been reliable ever since. Voila. I call him our dark horse potty prodigy and I am AMAZED that Edward wound up being the easiest to train. Sure he was an elderly three and a quarter and he would have been thrown out of most mainstream nursery schools by now (Caroline and Edward are in the 2-3's class - diapers are cool) but what he lacked in precocity in made up for with speed.

[Did any of you see the Washington Post article about the woman whose child was asked to leave preschool after many weeks of 8+ accidents until she was really toilet-trained for real and the woman responded by: 1) bringing a note from her pediatrician saying it was perfectly normal ; 2) petitioning the school board; and 3) agreeing to a Post interview?]

Oh and the fact that he shouts "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" and then runs around with both fists pumping the air and no pants also scores some points with me. He's mostly dry and he's cute as hell.

Speaking of cute as hell, Patrick's team had their Destination Imagination competition on Saturday. If you've been around long enough you will know that once upon a time I worried mightily about Patrick's social skills and shyness so watching him interact so comfortably with his teammates all day and then get up in front of an audience and perform was terrific. They learned a lot, they had a great time, they worked well together and they came in a respectable fourth. My mom used to joke that by the fifth or sixth game of one of my brother's soccer tournaments she would secretly start rooting for the other team so she could finally go home. I realized that I was holding my breath during the awards ceremony and that my biggest fear was that they would come in first or second and go on to the state competition or - god forbid - win THAT one and go to globals. So much for unconditional maternal support.

PS Verizon is now available through iPhone and although we are not off the double X austerity budget yet exactly I am hopeful we might be in the future and I am thinking of allocating my ad money for an iPhone. I mentioned this to Steve who laughed. Then he laughed some more. Then he fell on the floor and lay there laughing until I had to nudge him with my foot a little. When he finally realized I was serious he said well ok maybe HA HA HA but even if that wasn't a ridiculous idea when we HA HA have no cell service in the HA HA house and you HA rarely leave HO HO HO except to carpool isn't the monthly charge rather extortionate?

I said - with quiet dignity - that I would ask. So for those of you who do not live in a hollow tree, those of you who do not rely upon tin cans attached with string to communicate with the outside world: how much do you pay a month for your cell phone service and does it cover the internet? I mean, I still don't know how to text nor do I want to do so but is there a way to get google on my phone (and apps! I want to know what an app is!) and if so how much do you pay?   

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